I am sometimes amazed at the tortured logic people can use to defend a position. I’m going to start chronicling them here for fun. The first was, of course, intended to be fun:
William Shakespeare: As You Like It
TOUCHSTONE. Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast ever in court, shepherd?
CORIN. No, truly.
TOUCHSTONE. Then thou art damn’d.
CORIN. Nay, I hope.
TOUCHSTONE. Truly, thou art damn’d, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side.
CORIN. For not being at court? Your reason.
TOUCHSTONE. Why, if thou never wast at court thou never saw’st good manners;
if thou never saw’st good manners, then thy manners must be wicked;
and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous state, shepherd.